A Load of Bahookie

Date: Today of course
The Smelly-Wellie-Tele-Graph

Everything in The Smelly-Wellie-Tele-Graph newspaper is a load of bahookie. Worse than that, some of it isn't even new bahookie. It's just a load of old bahookie and we strongly advise our readers not to believe anything that they read - not even the bits that are true - without thinking about it and double- or even triple-checking it somewhere trustworthy.

All of this bahookie is written by Chik J Duncan who sometimes refers to himself in the first person singular (using the personal pronoun "I"), sometimes in the first person plural (using the personal pronoun "we") and sometimes in the third person singular (using the personal pronoun "he"), and if he can't even decide whether I'm inside or outside his own skin then we probably can't be trusted to know very much at all, can I?

Chik is a writer, a storyteller and a performer of his own performance poyums. That's him over there in the photo, on stage at the Paisley Arts Centre, telling the Assistant Strawberry Manager story.

You might have seen the job advert for an Assistant Strawberry Manager on the front page and thought to yourself, "That sounds like a load of old bahookie," but it's a real job which has been advertised in a real newspaper, The Dundee Courier and Advertiser.

All the job titles in the Situations Vacant column are genuine, real jobs that I've seen advertised over the years. I've just changed the details a wee bit for added silliness. So before you think of applying to The University of Mucklegowk, try looking up "muckle" and "gowk" in the Dictionary of the Scots Language.

There will be more about Chik's bahookie later

picture of Chik performing at Paisley Arts Centre